By the Blouin News Technology staff

Santa Claus meets Amazon’s drones

by in Personal Tech.

Michael Dodge/Getty Images

Michael Dodge/Getty Images

It’s the night before Christmas, fifty years hence,
Not a person is working, not even a fence.
Amazon’s drones fly through the air with great care,
Clutching brown boxes to cold metal hardware.

Tommy is staring through his Google Glass,
Playing World of Warcraft with his school class.
And his friends Ann and Deb with their Glass on too,
Are waiting to challenge him with some digital voodoo.

When out in the world there comes such a bang,
Tommy tears off the Glass to search for the clang.
Stripped of his all-knowing HUD to be sure,
He can’t believe what he sees — a fat red saboteur.

The moon’s white light reflects off drone metal,
Giving clear form to this fat red man’s mettle.
When, what to Tommy’s big eyes should appear?
But a life-sized sleigh, and eight real-life reindeer.

With a rattle and jingle, so melodious and true,
Tommy knew in a moment this sleigh really flew.
More fun than the drones and far smarter too,
Its coursers soar as Santa Claus tells them to.

“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on Donner and Blitzen!
Kick the drone! Rouse these folks! Stir the world round!
Raise the roof! Cause a ruckus! Make a loud sound!”

Facing a fantasy thought lost to mechanical charm,
The drones fall from the sky without cry of alarm.
So up through the air the coursers they whirl,
Their sleigh catching boxes as they fall with a twirl.

And then, from a siren, Tommy hears up the street,
The silent approach of Tesla’s autopiloted fleet.
As Tommy grabs a coat, and slips on a shoe,
Out climb some NSAbots without much ado.

Each robot gleams bright with silvery brilliance,
And all act as one against Santa — a nuisance.
An all-seeing eye shines from each of their chests,
A sight that allows them to judge the transgressed.

Santa Claus’s eyes, how they’re twinkling and merry!
His voice booms skyward, sweet like a cherry!
The droll little message is as clear as a bell,
He won’t be stopped by robot personnel.

Jolly old Santa, he moves without whirr,
He dances and jumps and fights like a blur.
Each NSAbot falls with a kick to the head,
And then smoke rises as if they too bled.

Tommy stands in the snow, smiles and grins,
And thinks of his friends Ann and Deb, the twins!
With a wink of his eye and a word of control,
Glass connects them through a digital porthole.

This connection soon spreads the whole world wide,
So everyone can watch the drones and robots die.
Then Santa Claus springs into the sleigh by his side,
And gets ready to go on his yearly joy ride.

He grabs a brown box from the top of the pile,
And hands it to Tommy with a great big smile.
And then he exclaims as he flies out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

(Disclosure: James Abels runs a startup working on new ways to design and deliver media.)